Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I just pynch a tree in the face
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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