Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
