Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
