I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
