i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
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