we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
