Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
