its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
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