I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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