So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
