my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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