it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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