just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
