Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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