two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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