I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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