This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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