had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
