I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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