just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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