I love black thongs
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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