Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
