Soap is not a condiment
never play flip cup with pint glasses
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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