Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
My dick has a subreddit
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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