so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
