Say something about gay babies.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
