i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
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