If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Randomize
