3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
