So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I want to be your penis for a week.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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