Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
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