I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
