Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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