This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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