do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
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