I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
