Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
