I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
