Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
this hospital has no fireball
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize
