I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Randomize
