what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Randomize
