Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So squirting runs in the family.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize