Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
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You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
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How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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