The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
