I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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