The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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