What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
