One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
