She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
