we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
