i just identified you from a description of your pipe
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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