dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
