mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
