Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
