I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
