dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
