My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
