So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
