Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
