Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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