We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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