Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
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True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
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I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
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